Erich Fromm wrote a scientific book about love, "The Art of Loving." As one of the greatest authorities on love, he defined it as a rational orientation based on freedom and mutual respect. His contribution to understanding love is significant, which made his book very popular. However, Erich Fromm's attempt to teach people love failed to spread love worldwide because he based love on people's consciousness. The problem is that people's conscience is a category with no power to establish freedom, rationality and mutual respect. One cannot create a law about love, and nothing else exists. As a result, people have not discovered how to love unconditionally. This paper argues that love depends directly on equal human rights. Equal human rights give people the power to demystify the indulgent values of the outer world and accept the inner world where people's love resides. This paper teaches people to find love in themselves and develop it unconditionally.
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People love by their nature. Love is one of the most significant achievements people can develop in their lives. Love is a state of mind characterized by a caring attitude towards others, which brings joy to life. Love is the condition of the soul that enriches the person who loves and the whole world. People who love carry a feeling of inner peace, stability, lightness and joy; that is how loving people can be identified. In a natural society, love exists on its own and develops spontaneously.
People decline love when they alienate themselves from their inherited ability to love. It starts by comparing themselves with other people. Instead of searching within themselves for the causes of a good life, people often look for superficial explanations and compare their lives with others'. They then quickly reach the subjective conclusion that power over people brings satisfaction and a good life. This conclusion is false. The need for dominance often creates conflict among individuals, resulting in social problems. Power over people has nothing to do with a good life and even less with love. People cannot fight with others and love them at the same time. Conflict among people alienates them from the opportunity to lead a fulfilling life. This article argues that the solution to all social problems lies in equal human rights. It is also a condition for maintaining and developing love. The purpose of this article is to explain this.
Narcissism
The lack of equal human rights creates narcissism. Narcissism is a subjective state of mind primarily shaped by people's privileged status, which gives them an impression of superiority. One can generalize that the more privileged people are, the more narcissistic they are. For example, spoiled children, excellent students, and influential people are generally more privileged, which likely means they are more narcissistic. But narcissism can also grow in the subjective minds of everyone as a reaction to an inferior position in society, which is nothing but the lack of equal human rights.
The differences among narcissistic people are often only in nuances because every person can build an illusion of power or privileges in a world of their thoughts. Practically all people possess some narcissistic character traits because our alienated culture teaches people to be narcissistic. The less narcissistic people are, the healthier they are for themselves and society. The more narcissistic people are, the less they love.
Some people call narcissism self-love because successful narcissistic people may look charming. They adore their image, character, deeds and success in society. They cherish their abilities, thoughts, beauty, characteristics, family, nation, and everything connected to them.
Does narcissism contain love in itself? Rather not, but the problem is, in fact, semantic. If one can say, "I love chocolate," where "love" actually means "enjoy," then one can stretch the meaning of love to narcissism, but in a much inferior form. Narcissism and love are separate categories, as their names suggest. People possess both characteristics; however, those who love more tend to be less narcissistic, and vice versa. In the following pages, people with more developed narcissistic characteristics are called narcissistic people; even though they can love, their ability to love is less developed.
Narcissistic people are very ambitious. They aim to ascend the social ladder by establishing themselves as an authority; their ultimate goal in life is success, whether through achieving power, earning money, winning a contest, or whatever they find appealing. They prefer to compete and, even more so, to win! The ego of the narcissist is very passionate, giving them enormous energy, which provides excellent opportunities to win but less chance to love. People who love base their mutual relations less on competition and more on cooperation.
Narcissistic individuals tend to be subjective and often overvalue their successes, attributing greater importance to them than they deserve. The narcissistic culture has raised superficial forms of value such as power, wealth, fame, beauty, strength, speed, etc. These values have become the most valuable goals in today's society. They are not objectively beneficial to people, but an alienated society has put them on a pedestal. Alienated values cannot bring genuine advantages to individuals. On the contrary, those values usually bring the opposite. These values damage the long-term possibility of creating social prosperity.
If narcissistic people are successful, as famous singers, actors or politicians might be, they are delighted, and their ego shines. This is mainly because such happiness creates the illusion of overcoming their powerlessness in nature, and therefore, the narcissistic pleasure may be quite intense. As such, it can easily deceive people into thinking they are on the right track. Narcissistic happiness is primarily based on illusions because narcissism alienates people from objective reality.
The problem is that by developing their narcissistic character, narcissistic people value themselves significantly more than others. As a result, such people lose respect for others, reducing their chances of reaping the natural advantages in relationships and diminishing their opportunities to love.
Since narcissistic people overestimate themselves, they can easily confront objective reality. They hardly tolerate competition that may threaten their vision. Sooner or later, life shows narcissistic people they are not as strong, bright, or beautiful as they would like, bringing them stress and frustration. Any happiness people gain through undeserved illusions comes back as a painful payment. Narcissistic people often try to escape their tension by indulging in the abuse of substances; thus, they can be recognized.
Dissatisfied narcissistic individuals may quickly clash with others. It can be said that virtually all conflicts in society are based on the damaged narcissistic character of people. By their subjective vision, narcissistic people can identify threats to their alienated needs as threats to their existence. This drives them to fight to preserve their illusions. The more their narcissistic vision is threatened, the more they hate and the more brutal the conflict they produce. All the cruelty of this world comes from endangered narcissism. An injured narcissism causes a destructive orientation in narcissistic people. Such people can fall into depression, which can develop into the need for self-destruction that can be extended to the need to destroy the world.
Genuine people have reasonable expectations, which they can fulfill, ultimately achieving stability. If the world does not match the needs of genuine people, they do not hate; they feel saddened. Sadness is a much healthier emotion, and unlike hatred, it allows people to find a way out of an unsatisfactory situation. Love always benefits those who love, while narcissism rarely does. Narcissism will rather induce evil in narcissistic people, spreading it to the world around them. Narcissistic people cause trouble in their surroundings. People must eliminate narcissism to achieve a prosperous future for humankind. This will be possible by implementing equal human rights.
Love of authorities
Genuine authorities impact society through their positive example and help others when asked. They never impose their knowledge or values on others. Unfortunately, such authorities are rare today.
In alienated societies, authorities have established privileged power by forcing people to accept their subjective knowledge as objective. Such authorities are inadequate because they cannot improve the community. Throughout human history, inadequate authorities have created a vast amount of false knowledge that society has accepted. Such knowledge is alienated from objective reality and therefore prevents society from natural development.
Authorities and people can build a stable, mutually beneficial relationship, which may resemble love. Authorities need obedient people to establish their power. Obedient people need authorities because it is more convenient to depend on them than to be left alone in a frightening world. But the relationship between authority and followers is only an illusion of love. If we extend the meaning of love, such love is at least undeveloped. Instead, it should be labelled a perverted concept of love.
A relationship based on the servility of obedient people and the control of authority always presents some degree of a sadomasochistic relationship, which is unproductive. A sadist is a person who finds pleasure in dominating people, which can be developed into extreme brutality. On the other hand, a masochist finds pleasure in submission to authorities until complete obedience. Sadomasochism should be considered a very unhealthy relationship. For more information, please refer to my article, Equal Human Rights Will Eliminate Sadomasochism.
Today's society is not sufficiently aware that all the evil in the world originates in a lack of equal human rights. Authorities build privileges and exploit people through the unfair distribution of social wealth. Unsatisfied followers of authority are potential time bombs, waiting for a reason to release their stress in real life.
In a society without equal human rights, narcissistic authorities deceive obedient people and, on the way to achieving greater power, use them to subdue other people or nations. Obedient people, dissatisfied with the life authorities cause, accept leaders' demands uncritically, becoming blind henchmen. That easily creates some form of group narcissism, which may only look like love, while building militant foundations for conflicts and wars. A humble masochist, guided by authority, may become a heartless weapon in the hands of leaders. Militant people do not love. People who love do not support wars. This article claims that the escape lies in equal human rights, which will eliminate social problems, including sadomasochism.
Falling in love
Probably the first association people have with the word 'love' is falling in love. Falling in love is the most famous expression of love today and perhaps the most described and sung term of all time. People often romanticize falling in love as a magical, uncontrollable feeling. I would say the main characteristic of people who fall in love is a mix of fear and hope. Juvenile uncertainty and optimism toward life increase the likelihood of falling in love.
Young people often believe they need to find the right person to fall in love with, and then romantic love will magically happen. First, I want to emphasize that falling in love is not magical. It is entirely commercial behaviour that gives the illusion of a magical performance. People know how much their attractiveness is worth in the alienated value market because everyday life teaches them that. The right person for love is shaped by careful preparation and chance events. There is almost nothing wrong with it because a person should choose a partner who suits them better. Rational behaviour when choosing partners is more than welcome. However, people who fall in love quickly are often subjective, which means they may not be reasonable enough. They are quite foolish in selecting partners.
When an appropriate person for falling in love appears before a subjective person, a high energy of happiness is released that attracts. Suppose it finds a proper response from the other side. In that case, a miracle of "love" appears, releasing all the brakes, and all doubts about the partner's acceptability disappear. The person then feels a sense of "chemistry," and the world becomes beautiful. This miraculous phenomenon, described in countless songs, is merely a sweet illusion born of released insecurity. There is almost no love there. Confident people can hardly fall in love, but they can love.
Falling in love brings such great happiness that it can feel like escaping death. People fall in love because they feel dead in authoritarian societies that take freedom from them. By falling in love, people release themselves from the pressure authorities have imposed on them throughout their lives. Falling in love compensates for the powerlessness people often feel in society and creates an illusion of power. It brings euphoria, and people usually wrongly attribute it to the "loved" person. This is why falling in love is an illusion.
Falling in love can be very superficial, and a person who falls in love may quickly become satiated with their loved one. If feelings for the loved person end, they are never loved because love lasts. Love develops practically throughout one's whole life. Love is an active, practical learning that brings pleasure. The person who loves never stops getting to know their partner. By learning more about their partner, a person can improve their partner's life. That brings the joy of love.
Many people can't wait to fall in love. If they knew better, they would avoid being in love. Falling in love is sweet, but it harms those who fall in love because the happiness that rises uncontrollably challenges people's ability to see their situation objectively. People alienated from their productive orientation can hardly love. Love follows from people's productive orientation, grounded in equal human rights. Productive people may struggle to fall in love, but they can love. Love is a stable and enduring force that grows with time. Once people accept equal human rights, they will build productive relationships in society, teaching people how to love and be loved in return.
Love of children
Love is a natural phenomenon that develops from childhood. Loving parents take care of their children, showing them what love is. Unfortunately, today's society has become alienated from its natural roots and does not know love enough to pass it on to children. An authoritarian society, by alienating demands, suppresses the ability of parents to love their children. In capitalism, parents often lack the time to give their children the love they need, as they must work to support their families. Capitalism seems interested in breaking down families to create more dependent workers and consumers. It is a political problem that should be solved by reducing working hours.
Furthermore, in an alienated society, parents are often preoccupied with their ambitions, leaving them with insufficient time for their children. They often hide their ambitions behind sacrifices for the family's welfare, overestimating their ambitions and underestimating the importance of their children's lives. Children who do not receive enough love are emotionally handicapped and less able to love. Such children can easily become long-term problems for themselves, their parents and society. Children can learn to love later in life, but in an alienated society, this rarely occurs.
Instead of love, parents often pressure their children to submit to their will in the name of "higher interests." Alienated parents cannot see the needs of their children objectively. Parental pressure can alienate children from their true selves, reducing their chances of living a fulfilling life. Children who oppose adults can easily be right because they are closer to their nature. Therefore, children's resistance should be respected, which promotes equal human rights. Once society accepts equal human rights, parents will be encouraged to discover love and share it with their children. Only then can a bright future for humanity begin.
Love needs equal human rights
People need the freedom to liberate themselves from the alienation authorities have imposed throughout history. Free people will discover through practice the genuine way of living. This is the so-called process of disalienation. It will be achieved by recognizing that a good society must be based on equal human rights.
But just a moment, haven't people today already had equal rights after the development and acceptance of equal human, civil, legal, constitutional, and other human rights all over the world? Of course, they have not! It is only a formal equality and propaganda by immoral authorities. Presidents may send people to war, and people cannot do the same to them. Bosses may abuse or fire workers, but workers cannot retaliate in kind. Teachers may force students to accept knowledge, but students cannot force them to do the same. Where are the equal rights there? People probably think it is entirely normal because they have always lived in such a society, but this is not normal!
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Equal human rights will solve social problems by developing democracy. This will be achieved by giving people equal legislative, judicial, and executive power. Everyone should have equal rights to evaluate others' actions. Each positive evaluation should be accompanied by a small award for the assessed person, and each negative evaluation should result in a corresponding small punishment. Such a policy would encourage everyone to work hard to please others and avoid harming anyone. This will significantly contribute to creating a good society. Equal evaluative power among people presents a new form of democracy, and freedom of evaluation presents a new form of anarchy. Therefore, such a policy can be called democratic anarchy. Democratic anarchy alone should be capable of building a much better society than we have today.
Let the evaluations have a value of one dollar each. Each reward a person receives from somebody will bring them one dollar, and each penalty will take away one dollar. In that way, everyone becomes an equal authority with little direct power in society. It is essential to emphasize that the number of assessments will be limited, allowing people to evaluate only the best and worst individuals. However, democratic anarchy will still have enough power to ensure each member of society respects others. As a result, people will become valuable to others, creating significant advantages for the community and diminishing or abolishing disadvantages.
Here is one example: the US President might receive 100,000,000 negative evaluations from the American people for poor policies, lies, and aggressive actions against other countries. This would cost him $ 100,000,000 in just one month. Presidents who fail to meet people's needs will be forced to resign. Only the most skilful and brave individuals would dare lead countries. They will no longer be authorities, but sincere servants of the people.
Technically, democratic anarchy will create phenomena similar to love among people, as it will foster caring for others. But it will still not be love. Once democratic anarchy is implemented, most people will probably not feel satisfied with giving, which underpins love. Initially, the pleasure may come from the egotistical need to receive positive evaluations from others and avoid negative ones. However, it will be beneficial because people will create advantages and avert disadvantages for the benefit of society as a whole.
Democratic anarchy will remove social privileges. It is essential to emphasize that individuals' privileged status poses significant challenges to society. Democratic anarchy will teach people that no matter what their successes are, they must not forget that they are equal community members. This will liberate people from narcissism and enable the development of love. I explore democratic anarchy in more detail in my article, Democratic Anarchy Is the Future of Democracy.
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Equal human rights must also be introduced in production processes, which will significantly improve the economy. First, society must achieve full employment by implementing shorter work hours. Then, people need to accept permanent, open competition for every public work post at any time. Every public job post will be filled by the worker who offers higher productivity, more responsibility, and demands a lower wage. It is nothing but a developed work market open at all times. Such a division of labour may seem impossible to achieve, mainly because it never existed, but the realization is a technical problem.
Of course, such an economy cannot be established soon, as it will require significant development before people are willing to adopt it. But once people establish it, the burdens and benefits of living will be justly distributed, forming a just society. In addition, no economy can be more productive than one where each job is filled with the best available worker. Private companies will lose the productivity battle with public companies, sending capitalism into history. This economy presents an enormous socio-economic improvement opportunity to build good socialism. The new division of labour is explained in detail in my article, Developed Market of Work Will Create Socialism.
The new socialism will teach workers to become satisfied with their lives. It will do so by holding each worker responsible for the productivity they offer for the jobs they want. It will teach workers to align their needs with their abilities to satisfy them. Workers who consistently meet their needs are more likely to be satisfied. This is the primary prerequisite for overcoming social destructiveness, as satisfied individuals are less likely to be destructive. In socialism, workers will develop a new culture that will create a productive orientation among people.
Democratic anarchy and open competition among workers will eliminate social privileges, the root of all societal problems. Nobody will have any social privilege anymore. The elite will disappear, along with the vast alienation they have built. Removing privileges will eliminate the central nest of narcissism and sadomasochism in the community. Then, neither improper authorities nor disobedient people will be able to exist. Eliminating privileges by establishing equal human rights is crucial to society's development. Then a promising future for humankind may begin.
An open labour market will increase competition among people. I've already mentioned that competitions destroy love. Does this mean that my proposal is against love? No way! Competition cannot be removed any other way than through people's understanding, gained through their own experience, that competition is unnecessary and inappropriate for achieving a decent life. Freedom of experience is the only way to find the truth.
The idea assumes that open competition for all workplaces will let everyone try them, demystifying the importance of jobs and balancing interests across them. Also, open competition in all workplaces will be exhausting and diminish workers' competitive interest. As a result, people will give up on the competition and stop comparing themselves to others, and instead find value in themselves. Then they will readily accept equality among people, enabling them to find genuine values in their lives.
A vibrant inner world exists within people, where all humanity's love, hate, joy, and misery reside. In a just society, where people understand they are equal to all others, regardless of their accomplishments, exploiting the outer world will offer little benefit. Then, people will start searching for values in their inner world. When such an orientation is accepted, hate and misery will be eliminated because they do not exist in the inner world of individuals who are relieved from the need to compare themselves with others. In contrast, love and joy will develop significantly because nothing destructive exists in the inner world of individuals who are relieved of the need to compare themselves with others. People who do not compete with others generally prove it.
The most critical point of an individual's creation is themselves. Exploring the inner world helps people know themselves and become more productive beings. The more people get to know themselves, the more freedom, peace, joy, wisdom, and love they can achieve.
Equality is a sufficient condition for the formation of a good society and the creation of love. Equality is also the only solution to all societal problems today and is fundamental to establishing love unconditionally. Love is a product of people's equal rights.
When people accept equal human rights, they will use their power to satisfy their needs while respecting others' rights. That would establish the conscience of productive people. Then, underdeveloped people would no longer exist. Then no one would admire a president, singer, or football player more than anyone else; no idol would exist anymore. Then neither powerful nor powerless people would exist, and neither improper authorities nor humble followers would exist. Then narcissism, sadism and masochism would no longer exist. This will overcome the enormous alienation we face today and create a bright future for humankind. As a result, love will be built beyond the wildest dreams of today,
Conclusion
So far, scientists and philosophers have found conscience to be the primary tool for addressing numerous social problems, achieving a better society, and fostering love among people. However, it never worked because conscience is not a category capable of accomplishing such goals. Calling for conscience may affect some people, but never all. One unconscious person can undo society's conscious efforts. Power to the people, not consciousness, will change the world and make it a flourishing place.
Equal human rights will free people from the power of authorities. People released from the pressure of authorities will demystify the alienated values imposed on them throughout history and discover natural ways of living. It will enlighten people, lowering their interest in comparing themselves with others, making them more productive and helping them discover the values within their inner world, full of love. Then society will start spreading love in its best and most beautiful form. Love is the outcome of the new socialism, founded on equal human rights. Once people start loving each other, they will create an entirely new world from today's alienated society.
Developed people do not depend on anybody because they can achieve what they need on their own; they love other people unconditionally just because they are. They find great joy in becoming productive people and even greater joy in love.
Creating a good society will be simple once we overcome the difficulties of accepting equal human rights. Without equal human rights, oppression will continue, and a good society cannot be achieved.